uglyrenaissancebabies:

Lorenzo Lotto, Virgin and Child with Saints

Baby Jesus definitely just farted.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Paolo Veronese, Leda and the Swan

Light on the ugly babies, heavy on the swan rape.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

British Library, Harley 4425, f. 140.

Fuck you, baby.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Andreas Vesalius, De Humani Corporis Fabrica, 1543

See, this Lord of the Flies shit is what happens when you don’t take a hammer to these little bastards.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Orazio Gentileschi, Danaë

Making it rain was a lot less fun before the advent of paper money.

It also got you pregnant.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Rachel’s lament? That a baby bed is a way better idea in theory than in practice. SO LUMPY.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Hieronymus Bosch, The Conjurer

Bondage puppy likes it ruff.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

William Holman Hunt, Triumph of the Innocents (detail)

More like Triumph of the Rock-Hard Abs, amirite?

And holy shit, loving Perm Christ. Maybe he was immaculately born with it — maybe it’s Maybelline. 

(submitted by Ellie)

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Dietisalvi de Speme, Madonna and Child

And thus spaketh Christ, our Lord and Savior, “Two in the pink, one in the stink, bro.”

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Jan Steen, The Merry Family (detail)

Guysss… this spoon. It’s incredible. You’re my best friend, spoon.

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Our Heavenly Father of the Steve Buscemi Eyes

(submitted by ifnothingexists)

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Someone needs to exorcise the shit out of this baby, ASAP. 

(submitted by Ellie)

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Andrea del Sarto, Madonna and Child with the Young St John.

OK, del Sarto, let’s look at St. John. That’s not foreshortening, bud, those are goddamn T-Rex arms. 

(submitted by art invaded)

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Albrecht Dürer, Cupid the Honey Thief

OH GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BEES. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THIS DECISION. 

uglyrenaissancebabies:

Joachim Patinir, Penitence of Saint Jerome

And here we see a traditionally rendered painting of Saint Jerome, who appears to be tripping his fucking balls off.